Happy Birthday Dear Jimmy

My husband turned 70 on March 29th.  Which, weirdly enough, is also my ex-husbands birthday.

Jim's son, Jason, made the decision to fly in for the day and surprise his dad.   I wanted to save the "kid" (in his 40's) cab fare so offered to pick him up at the airport.  Needed to keep his visit a secret so told Jim we were picking up a friend.

"Who?" he asked.

"Charki.  And she's flying in on Southwest, landing in Tampa."   That was the first friend who popped into my brain.  Charki lives 45 minutes south of us in St. Petersburg.  Charki is a retired United Airlines employee.  Naturally she always flies United because it's free for her.

Happily,  Jim didn't pick up on that odd bit.  Rather lovely to be married to a vaguely obtuse man.

We boogied to airport at about 3 p.m.   "Charki" was to land at 3:50.  Parked in the cell phone lot and began watching the giant light up board for arriving flights.   The plane departed from Midway, Chicago.  NO Chicago flights are on the electronic sign.

Jim begins to grill me, "Are you SURE it's coming into Tampa?  And you SURE it's not St. Pete."
"Yup, I'm certain."

Five minutes roll by and again he says, "Are you certain?  There are no Chicago flights on the board.  I think you should call Doug!"  (her husband)
"Don't have his number"  Lie lie lie
"Then call (mutual friends) Brookie and Earl.  Get Doug's number.  And
 what's the flight number?  You should always get the flight number!"

I cannot call from my phone. The call would have been broadcast loudly from my bluetooth, which I have no idea how to disable because that would require reading the manual.  I don't do manuals, I just pound on buttons and turn knobs until (maybe) something works out.

Texted B and E saying, "I'll be calling, please play along."  Then I called. Hooray, neither picked up.

Emailed Jason, "DO NOT TEXT OR CALL ME WHEN YOU LAND. (damn Bluetooth again)
" JUST EMAIL.  And, oh by the way, are you landing in Tampa?" (Please please please be landing in Tampa or I'm toast.)

By now my normally rarely-wants-to-murder-me husband is fuming.  No Chicago flights on Big Board.  No way to reach Charki.  And furthermore, why did Charki not fly directly to St. Pete where she lives?

At long last Jason emailed, "On the ground.  Will be standing at Southwest arrival wearing plaid shirt and red back pack."

"Hooray Jimmy,  Charki landed. She will be wearing plaid.   And a red back pack."
That bit caught Jim's ear....Charki, in plaid?  Charki is known for crisp white shirts, flowy scarves, hip jewelry, cute color coordinated cross body bags.  When he pointed out the curiousness of this I simply said, "She likes plaid for flying."  Seems I've easily grown into being a big fat liar.

Cruised along arrival area until I spotted Jason.  Jim, looking keenly for Charki in her unique new ensemble, never noticed Jason until he pounded on the driver side window.  The look on Jim's face was worth all the lying, sweating, fretting and enormous anxiety attack.

Secret kept! Cloak and dagger stuff accomplished.  Marriage survived!  Yay.   Altogether great day.

Plus neighbor Lynda baked him an awesome Girl Scout Thin Mints birthday cake.  That's it in the photo.  5 candles, one for every fourteen years.  Needed a calculator to figure it out.  :) Just to be sure I counted it out with my hoof.

I am an  awful knitter.  When I first began I dropped so many stitches you could fit your head through the holes in my scarves.  So I'd knit patches to cover the holes.  Then I'd sew buttons over the holes in the patches.

My first attempts at scarves were really weird.  12 inches wide in spots, 4 inches in other places.  But that didn't stop me from handing these odd things out to friends.  One was so heavy and thick I think my buddy had to crawl because it dragged her to the ground.

I only knit in the car.  Jim and I take long road trips.  He hates the way I drive.  I hate the way he drives right back.  He follows too closely causing me to have to press the imaginary brake in the passenger seat footwell.

I took up knitting so I am looking down when he's driving.   Eyes on the needles!  We're both happier that way.

I suppose he hates my driving because I'm quite a bad driver.  I never knew it until a whole lot of people informed me.   I'm slow.  Hands nervously at two and ten.  I bought myself a darling Mini Cooper in 2005. I chose the fastest engine, manual transmission, British racing green and SO CUTE.  That fast engine was totally wasted on me. I probably never drove that puppy over 55 mph.   I swore I'd NEVER sell my Mini---her name was Maude.

Then, much to Jim's dismay, I opted to trade her in for a Mini Van.  Baby blue, Honda Odyssey named Stella.   We travel with our beloved dog, Bronson.  More about him in future posts.   I wanted him to have comfort.

The day we mini van shopped Jim brought along Maude's title.  He swore he'd only mini van shop ONCE, so we'd better damn well find the right car that day.

Well, he was wrong.  We mini van shopped twice.  I traded Stella in for a newer, slicker model.  Gracie. She's gray.  Creative, eh?   She has a little refrigerator in the front seat.  And she has a fine brake in the footwell of the passenger side.   :)

We'll take Gracie to Chicago in August.  I'll be knitting.  Anyone want a scarf?  I've gotten better!  Rarely drop stitches, but still add patches and buttons for fun.  All my new friends are Floridians.  I need some cold weather victims.  LMK if your neck needs warming up.

How to post comments on my blog

I asked someone young--they always know this technical stuff.    
What you do is click at the bottom of the blog post on the words "No Comments".   Voila a box pops open and you can post your little hearts out.    Yay!

No on to find a photo of a 1960s hair dryer.   The gum snapper had no clue what they look like.

Here is more great stuff about being sixty five!

Being sixty five is good because I now get Medicare, who doesn't like to save at the Doctors office?   
Geriatric stuff will soon be advertised on my old peoples blog ---Stuff like Cialis. I love that name "Cialis". 
 In my brain I spell it "See Alice."  tee hee. 

Here is a list of great stuff for us oldies.

Discounted Memberships, Travel, Entertainment, and More: Numerous clubs, retail stores, hotels, restaurants, and other organizations that begin their discount programs at 65 years old. Here is a very short list of a few.

· Boston Market offers 10% off   
LOVE BOSTON MARKET

· Taco Bell offers 5% off and/or a free beverage  

· Rite Aid offers a 25% discount off the first Wednesday of each month  
I don't think we have Rite Aid here in Q-tip country.  We Floridians are called Q-tips because to the drivers behind us we look like little fluffy white blobs,  our heads barely above the head rest.

· Alaska Airlines offer 10% off

· American Airlines offers several discounts

· InterContinental Hotels Group offers various discounts


· Southwest Airlines offers many discounts

· United Airlines offers numerous discounts  
(I had no idea!  We always fly United. Hopefully the discounts include terrific things like money and sparkly stuff.) 

· U.S. Airways offers varied discounts  The next few are blah blah blah saving.....If they help you, yay you...As for me, shrug and fuggetabout it.

· Carmike Cinemas offers 35% off

· AT&T offers their special Senior Nation 200 Plan for $29.99 a month

· Verizon Wireless offers their Verizon Nationwide 65 Plus Plan for $29.99 a month
· AARP Membership Discounts – Membership is only $16 a year and worth it for the discounts you can get.     

Okee Dokee all you big money advertising folk---time to find my blog and make me rich and famous.  I know you will.  It's just a matter of time.

Take a Gander at this and you'll understand

So, I explained in an earlier post why I was so smitten with this guy.  Betcha' get it now, huh?

Bovine belly-aching

I have been wrestling with this painting for months.  Three cows.  Canvas is 5 feet wide, four feet tall.
What?  You say you only see two cows?  Well, look closely.  You'll see the ghost of #3 there on the lower left hand corner.

They are a family.  Mom, Bossy, is in the middle.  Daisy is the ghost.  Maisie is on the right.

So far I've "killed" Daisy three times.  Paint her.  Hate her.  Obliterate her.
Our garage has been a bloodbath.  Whenever Bossy sees me approaching with my black paint loaded brush she trembles.  Meanwhile Maisie smirks.  Sibling rivalry being what it is, Maisie kind of likes Daisy meeting her demise on a regular basis.

This huge painting is destined for our kitchen wall.  Jim has been enormously patient with my plodding pace.  He buys into my lies that, "Art can't be rushed."  Tee Hee.   My bad.

I'm considering painting a tombstone onto the left side...."R.I.P. Daisy."

BUT, the fact that I've not finished the painting is GOOD BECAUSE when I finally do complete the cows we will enjoy and appreciate them all the more for having waited.  Yup.   That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

Now,  all you peeps go have a very good nice fun filled and possibly cow filled day.

Time to manifest a shower.   :)

I'm deaf. And this is good because.....

Jen Sincero writes that we need to think positive thoughts in order to manifest all great things in our world.  If there is something negative in your life, you tack on the words, "....and this is good because."

Tried it with my husband, Jim.  His was, "I'm bald.  And this is good because I don't have to comb my hair."

 I'm deaf.  I've been deaf for about 15 years.   Lost my hearing when I had pneumonia.

Being deaf is good because.....

Loud noises don't wake me up at night.
When I read I simply take out my hearing aids and instant quiet.
I get attention by saying, "I'm hearing impaired."
I'm learning to lip read.

Try this little exercise!  Last night I talked to a great friend who  has very little money.  She tried it.  She said, "Being poor is good because I don't have to worry about fluctuations in the stock market."

Keeping the positive vibrations flowing.  So, all of you, go forth and prosper.  Have a beautiful positive day.  Hooray for today.  Is anyone reading this?   Maybe not many, but eventually the multitudes will discover my blog and yay yay hip hip hooray I'll be rich and famous and tall with long legs.